This approach gently encourages fact-checking while showing you're intrigued by what he has to say. Can you forward the links? I would love to look at that," says Headlee. If your uncle starts spewing misinformation, you might say, "I'd be interested to see your sources. You don't have to agree with him, but you might say, "I see you've put a lot of thought into " or "it makes sense you see it from this angle." To demonstrate you're engaging in the conversation in good faith, acknowledge your uncle's points, says Lew. "If you remove that pressure of trying to convince them with facts and statistics, it lowers the stakes." You can also come into the conversation knowing you're not trying to win, she adds. "If you come from a place of curiosity, you're much less likely to trigger defense mechanisms." Listen as much as you talk and be willing to learn something new, says Headlee. Headlee likes to play something she calls "the three-question game." She'll say, "Wow, we're really not going to agree on that, but I bet in three questions, I can find something you and I agree on." The new topic is usually something very simple, like "nachos or dogs," she adds - "but that's all it needs to be." If you know that the conversation is going to be problematic, change the subject. Solution 1: Find something else to talk about. "It can be a way to switch the topic without being so heavy." Scenario: Your uncle wants to discuss a controversial topic. If the moment feels right, you might say, "Whoa! That's a big question," says Tawwab. Solution 4: Use humor to redirect the conversation.
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